Over the years IT professionals have sat through countless presentations, conference calls, and keynotes. We’ve been preached too, explained “the problem”, and forced to bear witness to the the future. During such events all of us have had to step up and explain that we already understand the problem, we know who your company is, and we really just want to know how your product works.

Outside of the normal annoyances, there are several words or phrases that invoke pain and disgust in our hearts, one such phrase came up today. While I won’t mention the source, or berate them anymore than they already have been. I do want to put this list out there for future reference… If I’ve forgotten something that drives you crazy, please, feel free to contact me so I can add it here.

  • Cloud — we’ve jumped the shark with Cloud years ago….
  • Gartner — No one that understands technology cares what Garner says. Period.
  • Magic Quadrant — See above.
  • Single Pane of Glass — An overly obvious marking term.
  • Next Generation — Really? Prove it.
  • Game Changer — See above.
  • Software Defined $something — Just like Cloud, we’ve driven this into the ground
  • And last, but not certainly lease… money shot.

Other things to avoid are keeping us at 30,000 feet instead of letting us get dirty, Death by PowerPoint, and circling the airport and refusing to land. And don’t forget using cliché metaphors…

Things I hate

About the author:

Tony Mattke is a network engineer for a financial institution in Indiana. In the past he has worked for ISPs, data centers, networking manufacturers, and the occasional enterprise. For feedback, please leave a comment on the article in question. For everything else including fan mail or death threats, contact him via twitter.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Mike Munoz June 20, 2013 at 3:39 pm

Software Defined [whatever] is starting to get up there for me.

Reply

_SomeClown June 21, 2013 at 11:18 am

DevOps gets me twitching…

Reply

_SomeClown June 21, 2013 at 12:21 pm

Oh yeah, also:

Paradigm Shift
Out-of-box
Layer-8
Success-focused (who isn't?)
Team-based synergies

Reply

Jodi Bart Holzband June 24, 2013 at 12:38 pm

How about tag team?

Reply

Sam crooks July 26, 2013 at 11:23 am

"swivel-chair"

Reply

David Russell December 15, 2013 at 9:58 am

Do more with less

Reply

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